Greek philosopher Heraclitus said “there is nothing permanent except change”. That was apparently in 540 BC, and if you apply his wisdom to the culture of gift giving and weddings, it’s absolutely true. Smart guy.

Throughout history, the way people give and receive wedding gifts has continued to evolve and we are currently seeing its latest adaptation through the rise of online wedding gift registries.

Digital platforms like Gravy are reimagining the gifting landscape by providing couples with new ways to ask for and receive all kinds of wedding gifts. However, many couples still opt for traditional wishing wells, suggesting there are pros and cons to both.

For modern couples, the decision of whether to have an online wedding registry or wishing well typically has less to do with what they’d like to receive as a wedding gift (read: cash) and more to do with how they would like the experience to play out for their guests.

So, let’s take a closer look at wishing wells and online wedding gift registries and how they compare side by side. 

What is a wedding wishing well?

A wedding wishing well is usually a decorated container (or box or basket) where guests can place cards and monetary gifts. The idea is similar to giving a traditional gift, but instead of a physical item, guests give the couple money which they can use for their honeymoon, home, or other future plans.

Most often, a couple will communicate their wishes by including a note on their wedding invitation. It might read something like this:

“To help us start our new life together, we’ve set up a wishing well. This will allow us the flexibility to use your generous contributions towards our honeymoon, home, and future plans.

If you’d like to participate, please bring a card with your wishes and any contribution you’d like to make. Your kindness and support mean the world to us.”

For years, this was the undisputed go-to option for couples. It’s a simple way of asking guests for money, and there are plenty of wishing wells available online - from clear perspex chests to engraved wooden boxes. You can also find plenty of secondhand wishing wells here. 

What is an online wedding gift registry? 

An online wedding gift registry (or digital gift registry) is a personalised website that allows engaged couples to create a list of desired gifts for their wedding. This list is then shared with their guests, making it easier for friends and family to select and purchase gifts that the couple truly wants or needs. 

The beauty of an online wedding registry is the ease of use - for both the couple and the guests. Couples can gather cash in a way that feels more meaningful for guests by uploading images and/or descriptions of what they will use those funds for (eg. a honeymoon, an artwork, a wine subscription). 

Couples can also personalise their wedding registry with images, messages, wedding details and a custom registry link that can be shared on their website, wedding invitations or via email. This link directs guests to the registry where they can view and purchase items from the comfort of their own couch. 

Pros and cons of a wishing well at your wedding 

Pros of a wedding wishing well:

• Couples can allocate the money towards whatever they need most, whether it's a honeymoon, home improvements or paying off wedding expenses.
• Guests don't have to worry about shopping for a specific item or guessing what the couple might want.
• No risk of duplicate or unwanted gifts. 
• Guests can include heartfelt nots along with their contributions, adding a personal touch. 
• Set-up is extremely straight-forward and can be a beautiful addition to the decor. 

Cons of a wedding wishing well:

• Some guests might feel that giving money is less personal than selecting a specific gift.
• In cultures where giving money is not the norm, some guests may find the concept uncomfortable or inappropriate. 
• Inconvenient for guests to have to remember to withdraw and then carry around cash. 
• Some guests might feel pressured to give more than they can afford.
• Clearly communicating the purpose of the wishing well without appearing to demand cash can be challenging. 
• Risk of money being stolen.
• Someone needs to be responsible for collecting and securing the contributions during and after the wedding. 
• Less environmentally friendly than an online wedding registry (paper and product involved). 

Pros and cons of an online wedding gift registry at your wedding

Pros on an online wedding gift registry:

• Incredible easy to set up and update.
• Accessible from anywhere and at anytime making it super convenient for guests. 
• Couples can add notes explaining why they chose certain items, making the transaction feel more personal. 
• Easy to track who gave what, making it easier to send personalised thank-you notes.
• Couples can choose from a limitless range of gifts, including household items, experiences, charities and cash funds.
• Many registries have the option to include honeymoon funds, charitable donations, or contributions toward larger goals like a house down payment. Platforms like Gravy even allow couples to ask for non-monetary gifts of time and good will.
• According to several reputable sources and our own data, online wedding gift registries receive upwards of 30% more in funds on average than a physical wishing well. This is most likely because of the more personal nature of digital gifting and also because guests can make a considered contribution whenever they like (no last minute run to an ATM)/
• Digital wedding registries are more environmentally friendly, reducing the amount of paper and plastic waste. 
• Because funds are directly transferred to the couple's nominated account, there is no risk of cash being stolen or misplaced. 
• The personalised elements add to the overall wedding experience as guests can interact with the registry by viewing imagery and leaving kind messages. 

Cons of an online wedding gift registry:

• Usually there is a fee to use an online gift registry (some require an upfront payment while others will ask for a small percentage commission on your contributions later). 
• Couples are unlikely to receive any handwritten wedding cards (there's always an option to tell guests there will be a box at the wedding for anyone who would like to bring one). 

Okay, so which option do we choose?

As we touched on at the very beginning of this article, a big part of the decision making process comes down to:

1. What you would like to receive as a wedding gift (eg. cash, physical gifts, experiences etc.).

2. How you'd like the gifting interaction with your guests to play out, and which approach feels the most comfortable to you and your partner.

Some other things to consider include:

Convenience and practicality: Which option feels easier for both you and your guests to manage?

Security: Are you comfortable handling the cash-money on the night or would you prefer to have funds securely transferred to you?

Charitable donations: Do you want your guests to be able to make a donation to a particular cause on your behalf?

Experience: Which option will feel most meaningful, convenient and enjoyable for your guests?

Transparency: Would your guests appreciate knowing what you will be using the cash funds for?

Communication: Which registry option allows you to communicate your wishes to guests in a way that doesn't feel demanding or ungrateful?

If you do choose to have an online wedding gift registry, you can find our top five picks here. 

What is the best online wedding gift registry?

Without a doubt, Gravy (like the sauce). Why? Because we built it. So naturally, we are biased - but hear us out.

We never had dreams of building a group gifting platform. In fact, we could have done without the additional workload. But we'd been working in the wedding industry for just on a decade and there still wasn't an option for couples who wanted to use their wedding to help make the world a better place. 

Gravy is the first gift registry of its kind that allows couples to ask their guests for literally anything - things like adopting a koala, a lift to the airport, donating blood, or contributing to a local bake sale. 

They can also ask for donations to charity (with no limit on how many they can nominate) and contributions to their own cash funds to spend on things like a honeymoon, IVF treatments, a new car.... whatever. 

The whole point is that Gravy gives couples the flexibility to create a registry that reflects their needs and values, making the entire gift-giving experience less transactional and more meaningful.

Plus, couples can choose when they would like to receive their funds (eg. instantly or on a specified date) which is helpful if couples are trying to save (and want to receive a lump sum) or needing cash flow for things like booking flights for their honeymoon. 

Curious to know more? Learn about how Gravy works here or if you're ready to dive in, you can get started for free here. 

CREDITS: Gravy (featured image), Hello Sweetheart, Gravy.