Greek philosopher Heraclitus said “there is nothing permanent except change”. That was apparently in 540 BC, and if you apply his wisdom to the culture of gift giving and weddings, it’s absolutely true. Smart guy.
Throughout history, the way people give and receive wedding gifts has continued to evolve and we are currently seeing its latest adaptation through the rise of online wedding gift registries.
Digital platforms like Gravy are reimagining the gifting landscape by providing couples with new ways to ask for and receive all kinds of wedding gifts. However, many couples still opt for traditional wishing wells, suggesting there are pros and cons to both.
For modern couples, the decision of whether to have an online wedding registry or wishing well typically has less to do with what they’d like to receive as a wedding gift (read: cash) and more to do with how they would like the experience to play out for their guests.
So, let’s take a closer look at wishing wells and online wedding gift registries and how they compare side by side.
A wedding wishing well is usually a decorated container (or box or basket) where guests can place cards and monetary gifts. The idea is similar to giving a traditional gift, but instead of a physical item, guests give the couple money which they can use for their honeymoon, home, or other future plans.
Most often, a couple will communicate their wishes by including a note on their wedding invitation. It might read something like this:
“To help us start our new life together, we’ve set up a wishing well. This will allow us the flexibility to use your generous contributions towards our honeymoon, home, and future plans.
If you’d like to participate, please bring a card with your wishes and any contribution you’d like to make. Your kindness and support mean the world to us.”
For years, this was the undisputed go-to option for couples. It’s a simple way of asking guests for money, and there are plenty of wishing wells available online - from clear perspex chests to engraved wooden boxes. You can also find plenty of secondhand wishing wells here.
An online wedding gift registry (or digital gift registry) is a personalised website that allows engaged couples to create a list of desired gifts for their wedding. This list is then shared with their guests, making it easier for friends and family to select and purchase gifts that the couple truly wants or needs.
The beauty of an online wedding registry is the ease of use - for both the couple and the guests. Couples can gather cash in a way that feels more meaningful for guests by uploading images and/or descriptions of what they will use those funds for (eg. a honeymoon, an artwork, a wine subscription).
Couples can also personalise their wedding registry with images, messages, wedding details and a custom registry link that can be shared on their website, wedding invitations or via email. This link directs guests to the registry where they can view and purchase items from the comfort of their own couch.
Pros of a wedding wishing well:
Cons of a wedding wishing well:
Pros on an online wedding gift registry:
Cons of an online wedding gift registry:
As we touched on at the very beginning of this article, a big part of the decision making process comes down to:
1. What you would like to receive as a wedding gift (eg. cash, physical gifts, experiences etc.).
2. How you'd like the gifting interaction with your guests to play out, and which approach feels the most comfortable to you and your partner.
Some other things to consider include:
Convenience and practicality: Which option feels easier for both you and your guests to manage?
Security: Are you comfortable handling the cash-money on the night or would you prefer to have funds securely transferred to you?
Charitable donations: Do you want your guests to be able to make a donation to a particular cause on your behalf?
Experience: Which option will feel most meaningful, convenient and enjoyable for your guests?
Transparency: Would your guests appreciate knowing what you will be using the cash funds for?
Communication: Which registry option allows you to communicate your wishes to guests in a way that doesn't feel demanding or ungrateful?
If you do choose to have an online wedding gift registry, you can find our top five picks here.
Without a doubt, Gravy (like the sauce). Why? Because we built it. So naturally, we are biased - but hear us out.
We never had dreams of building a group gifting platform. In fact, we could have done without the additional workload. But we'd been working in the wedding industry for just on a decade and there still wasn't an option for couples who wanted to use their wedding to help make the world a better place.
Gravy is the first gift registry of its kind that allows couples to ask their guests for literally anything - things like adopting a koala, a lift to the airport, donating blood, or contributing to a local bake sale.
They can also ask for donations to charity (with no limit on how many they can nominate) and contributions to their own cash funds to spend on things like a honeymoon, IVF treatments, a new car.... whatever.
The whole point is that Gravy gives couples the flexibility to create a registry that reflects their needs and values, making the entire gift-giving experience less transactional and more meaningful.
Plus, couples can choose when they would like to receive their funds (eg. instantly or on a specified date) which is helpful if couples are trying to save (and want to receive a lump sum) or needing cash flow for things like booking flights for their honeymoon.
Curious to know more? Learn about how Gravy works here or if you're ready to dive in, you can get started for free here.
CREDITS: Gravy (featured image), Hello Sweetheart, Gravy.
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